I’ve been friends with a person who lives far away (at a long distance from each other) for a few years we shared a lot, had similar interests, similar spiritual path and were very close. I went on a trip and we were together every day.
Some very intense and unpleasant interactions happened which shook me up and was like I didn’t really know this person at all. Their behavior and anger was explosive towards me was as if they didn’t trust me and I was a bad person. I realize now it was like a mask was peeled away and I saw the person for who they are in reality. It was a shock to say the least.
Now as I’ve returned from the trip – nothing is the same. I don’t really want to be around or speak to the friend as often. I feel like I’ve grown and changed. I’m not sure how to handle the friendship after this place. Do I speak to this friend and discuss it? Though through recent interactions, I’m noticing that this friend is living in denial and is subtly behaving as if it never happened. I can’t handle the pretense as if the whole thing never happened. Do I simply cut off the connection? I feel confused.
~ Thanks for your help and insight.
Response from Dipali:
Hi, Thanks for your inquiry. Following guidance is offered as suggestions. Please use your own wisdom and common sense to see what resonates.
Since you are still experiencing minor tremors and perhaps feeling emotionally raw from the intense interactions – it would be best perhaps to simply rest and allow yourself to process and assimilate things rather than make any rash decision. It may be wise not to express your feelings or thoughts, knowing and seeing the person is primarily behaving from a point of denial or pretense. If you do – you may not get a clear message across. It may be you need time alone from this friend to clear out the not so pleasant memories and energies that this entire experience brought forth. All you are responsible for is reflecting on your part and actions. Their reactions and emotions are their responsibility.
Take the time and be loving to self and return to the inner balance. Only then can a decision be made in total peace, honesty and with compassion – which you will ultimately feel much more empowered. I also sense, as you honor the changes you are undergoing you may find the relationship with this friend takes on its own new natural rhythm – it may be you two don’t speak as often, you can pick and choose when you feel ok with connecting or perhaps a natural waning and dissolving occurs. If you feel uncomfortable with the person wanting to remain close and act as if the friendship is the same as it was before the trip – then you may have to make yourself less accessible. You can choose to put your focus, passion and energy into something that is fulfilling for your life and path.