Simple Steps to Conflict Resolution

Conflicts can generate such turmoil and can go on forever.  Ego’s can stay locked onto a battle for years and the conflicts can carry on and be embedded into future generations.  The mind can nurse the wound into eternity if you let it. The story can become a saga unto itself and the whole family, friend circle and co-workers get to hear it again and again and again. Until people including yourself – begin to tune it out. But the conflict still remains.  If you feel you are ready to resolve conflict in your life then this short article may benefit you. It is a general overview with a few steps to practice to get the process moving.


Communication Plays a Key Role:
Say what you mean. Be honest, loving and clear in your communicating your thoughts, feelings. Be open and receptive to listening to the other person.  Don’t use words or phrases that project blame or criticize.  You can create a safe space for both you and the other person to share about the conflict. Being calm, compassionate and loving helps. So if you feel upset and angry make sure you allow yourself quiet time to let that out and then approach the other person for a heart to heart talk.

Really Listen and Be Open to the Other Person:
For a real conversation to happen you must also listen. Be as receptive as possible. This happens when you are in a loving assertive energy within yourself. Listen to how the other person feels and what fears they are expressing. Use compassion than sympathy so you can realize that each person is learning to grow, heal, evolve as Soul in human form.  Realize too that not everyone is a master communicator so be patient with the process.

For a moment, Put Yourself In the Other Person’s Shoes:

Sometimes you need to put yourself in another person’s shoes to get what is going on with them. Or see from their viewpoint how they would feel, see or experience something. It won’t give you exact but it can help you gain a better sense of understanding or compassion in the situation. This can help you make a different choice in the future.  The other person can do the same for you.

Accept that there will be Various Viewpoints:

When you are not invested in the “right/wrong” or ego power struggle all of the tangles drop away. What remains is the understanding and wisdom to know that there many be various viewpoints, perceptions, ideas, and emotions to any situation and you may have to agree to disagree with something. There is a way to meet on middle ground if both parties are willing to work their way to common ground.

Transform the weak spot into a strength:

Each conflict has a purpose and a morsel of learning or teaching within its core.  If both parties are willing, use the lesson or learning in the conflict or the weak spot that appeared (trust issue, control, fear, misunderstanding etc) and transform that into a strength so the situation does not repeat itself again in a similar manner. If it does it is on a new level of mastery.  The conflict energy can be dynamic catalyst for growth, discovery and healing. It can also be a way to learn to express unconditional love, honesty and acceptance in any given situation.

Copyright 2009 Dipali Desai. All Rights Reserved