The Delicacy and Power of No

For those of you who are “yes” or people pleasers, you simply struggle to say “no.” It is a painstaking process is it not? You do not want to ruffle feathers nor disrupt peace. Though it costs you. Perhaps through money, time or even love. More so with your own life force and energy.

Eventually this loss of energy, will be detrimental to the physical body and overall health and well-being. You will not build confidence this way. You may just end up hating yourself. Start to reflect how often you say “yes” – on auto pilot. Jot down the amount of times in one day or one week. You will see if you are going way over and need to pull back to balance.

Sometimes even when a “yes” person says yes, inside they are cringing and agonizing with resentment and other emotions. At times they even may be so depleted on so many levels not just physical, but they continue to do their thing of “yes”  in the making others happy first. This could end up being an addiction.The only person that suffers is YOU. The others are content because they are getting what they want and are on easy street. You on the other hand, may feel a mighty lack within.

Although I speak often of not resisting life. There are times when we we are still open to life (in non-resistance) yet we must use our personal power to say “No, thank you”  “Not right now” “No I prefer something else.” Allow the “No” to come from honesty, compassion and love. Soul to Soul. Not ego to ego, for that is where the current struggle is at. Let your heart expand and realize that others need to grow too, and when you exercise saying “no thanks” it may challenge them to be more accepting or compromise.

This is OK. In fact, it is a must have in the spiritual toolkit. Of course you can practice the delicate art of the power of “no” in various ways depending on the situation. Sometimes this practice is setting clear healthy parameters (sometimes referred to as boundaries) or limits as “how far….” This is necessary while we walk on the earth. In our human body we need to know “when is enough” even if its for self-preservation. It is healthy and an act of empowerment as well as self-love. You need not be a martyr on the Spiritual path.

If you falter, and wobble on saying “No thanks,” simply brush yourself off and do it again the next time it will be even better as long as your intention and actions are clear. Learning to say “No” is using your power of choice and being loving to yourself. For some people it is using their voice which may not be heard or speaking their truth which is put in line last and squelched.

It is a must to be honest within first and foremost. Once you are honest inside and know yes I am willing or not I prefer not to then you can proceed when relating with others. And then you can decide whether to say yes or no to someone or a situation. Granted some people are “No” people who need to bend and learn the art of “yes” and helping others out. The No, people are in total resistance to life, change and fear any upsets in any form. They clench down and fight tooth and nail to keep their way going. This is exhausting too.

What is your experience of people pleasing and constantly saying “yes” when you really need to learn to say “no thanks.” ?

Leave a comment or feedback here on the blog!