If we think back ‘how to have closure in an intimate relationship’ was not part of the high school or college curriculum. It was more important to drill geometry or statistics or some other course which you will not really use into your brain. We could have benefited from a few life mastery courses on relationships, love, death and dying, letting go, even meditation.
Generally speaking, we have not been taught how to let go, especially in intimate relationships. It is so challenging in relationships to accept things as they are or to have trust in the process. The truth is that we never lose anything. One relationship that leaves our life, another door opens. New beginnings pave the way to new experiences, this is life.
Yet everyone has some sort of experience of a difficult break up from an intimate relationship at some point in their life. Some people may have the luxury of closure while others have not – ever. Those who do not, stay on a roller coaster ride and this seems to increase suffering on so many levels. It also creates an imbalance in the life force, as it becomes stuck to that particular event in space/time.
Early in childhood it may be challenging to know how to have closure. However, in adulthood, a person can take responsibility and explore how to develop healthy ways to have closure. There are so many books, CD’s and seminars on the subject of love, intimacy and healthy empowering relationships.
Oftentimes, we think the ‘closure’ is in only if ‘I can speak to the person, if I see them, only if they were in my life etc.’ Yes, this may be one way, but not the only way. Real empowerment rests in your hands. It is within you, not outside of you. You, yourself can give closure to anything you set your intention towards. You can set yourself free and heal. It is possible to have peace regarding the situation. If you have a desire to see this person, surrender into the Universe’s hands. One day it may manifest. However your life does not halt or stay stuck in suffering because of it.
Here is a useful metaphor; cleaning up the past (regarding intimate relationships) of loose ends is like tidying up your house. It is a daily practice, it feels great afterwards, and you may even feel liberated from gunk accumulated. Now you have the freedom to move forward without the past snagging you back. You feel invigorated because your life force energy is flowing ‘with’ you now to create the future you deeply desire. In this case a healthy loving relationship.
Instead of piling things up for one rainy day, why not start now? Love yourself enough to give yourself closure. It rests in your hands and heart, not in something outside of you.
Few Suggestions to Begin with:
Take Responsibility Now, Educate Yourself
Tidy up loose ends
Support yourself emotionally
Take action to back up your intention
What have your experiences been like on “Closure” in Intimate Relationships?